


Snowblind

by Akais



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Developing Friendships, Drug Use, Friends to Lovers, I am so sorry, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, also i cant promise consistent updates, also this is intended to be gay but i wrote it as neutral as possible, i projected a lot of my problems onto the reader, this is based on my own experiences, this is basically just me coping, your friends are really epic trust me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 12:49:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21374416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akais/pseuds/Akais
Summary: Cast out onto the streets after being expelled from rehab, where do you go? A nurse comes to you with the promise of recovery in an unexpected place. Appearing overnight, stuck in a strange, unfamiliar place you meet some strange, unfamiliar people. Still struggling with your dependency and no idea of what you've gotten yourself into, you might end up getting more than you bargained for.
Relationships: Cardinal Copia/Reader, Cardinal Copia/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. 1 | Cast Outside and Back Inside

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work on here and I'm so nervous please be nice I'm begging you 
> 
> if you're my friend and your name is zenonix you're banned from reading this story go away

“We’re expelling you from treatment.” 

You felt your heart drop. Those words tore through you and to your very soul.

“Y-you’re what?” You stammered.

“We’re expelling you from treatment.” The doctor that sat across from you at their desk straightened a stack of papers and looked as if they could care less about the news that fell upon you. “You know the rules and you broke them multiple times. We’ve given you too many chances. Fighting other patients, no matter the reason, is unacceptable.”

All the hope you once had for yourself was gone. You couldn’t make it on your own- you had nowhere to go and nobody to support you. It was over.

The doctor turned from their monitor to face you, “You’ll need to be out of here by tonight. We need all the room we can get. We’ll send a nurse to help you pack your belongings.”

You sat there wide-eyed in disbelief. You still couldn’t comprehend what was happening to you. It couldn’t end like this.

“But what am I supposed to do!? I have nowhere to go! I have nobody!” You cried, trying to convince the doctor to let you stay. “I’ll die if you throw me out on the streets now!”

“That’s for you to figure out.” The doctor said bluntly.

How could they be so cold? You thought. Feeling tears burn at your eyes, you wiped them with the back of your hand and sniffled. You heard the doctor clear their throat.

“You’re dismissed. Go organize your belongings.” They pointed to the door.

You stood up from your chair a little too aggressively and it made a noise in protest, dragging across the floor. Stomping to the door, you yanked it open and continued down the white barren hallways until you reached your door. You heard footsteps behind you and you looked to see who it was, which was the nurse they sent for you.

Frowning, you opened the door to your room and the nurse quickly caught up to you and followed you inside. She looked almost as upset as you were but said nothing.

The next hour went by in silence as you two worked together, folding clothes and packing your belongings in a sad little cardboard box. You were still processing what was happening. 

You stared at the full box, sitting on the floor right in front of it. You felt a gentle hand rest on your shoulder. Looking behind you, the nurse looked very apprehensive before speaking.

“(Y/n), I’m sorry this had to happen. I don’t agree with them kicking you out of here. I know how badly you need to be here to recover. I’m truly sorry.” She looked uncertain but pulled a notepad from her pocket and wrote something down, tearing it from the pad and handing it to you. “Here, don’t let anyone here know I’ve given this to you. When you leave, find this address. They can help you get back on your feet. Show this note to them and they’ll know it’s from me.”

You gingerly took the note from her outstretched hand, reading what she wrote. No information on what the address was or is. You figured it was a halfway house or some sort of shelter. Stuffing the note in your pocket you nodded and thanked her. She then bent down to lift your box up and placed it in your arms. 

“I’ll escort you out. Again- I’m sorry it came to this.” She placed a hand on the small of your back and walked you out the door of your room, down the sterile hallways, and into the main lobby where she stopped and turned to you. She then looked around, put a finger to her lips, and put something in your pocket. “For a bus. You know, to get there.” 

You still had no idea what or where there is, Nevertheless, you gave her a weak smile and turned out the large glass automatic doors. 

You immediately regretted it as you felt freezing rain hit your skin and the darkness enveloped you. You solemnly looked out into the night, unsure of what you should do. You still had the address your nurse had given you. Digging around in your pockets, you found a $20 and the note the nurse gave you. You subconsciously thanked her again.

The next step was to find a bus stop and a bus running this late. It had been so long since you’ve been outside you couldn’t remember anything about it. You only had to hope.

An hour passed, walking around in the cold, wet darkness before you could find a bus stop- which was miraculously covered. Another hour passed by waiting for a bus. It stopped in front of you and opened its doors for you. You stepped onto the bus, balancing your box in one hand and the bill in the other, holding it out for the driver who then took it from you. 

“Uh, do you know how to get here?” You inquired to the driver, taking the note from your pocket with your now free hand. You showed him the note, he studied it for a moment and nodded.

“That’s awesome, can you get me there?” You felt bad asking, but it was his job and there were no other passengers. He grunted before telling you it’ll cost you more. Sighing, you put the note back in your pocket and holding your hand out for your change and he handed it to you.

You then ambled down the aisle and sat in a seat close to the front. Sitting the box on your lap, you scooted right up against the window. You watched the illuminated buildings and raindrops pass by, entranced by the bright neon lights that decorated the city. Yet your mind was foggy and unable to concentrate. 

Sleep clawed at your tired eyes. Your whole body felt tired and sore from withdrawals running rampant and unchecked. Tremors rocked through your arms, hands, and fingers. You tried clasping them together to keep them still but to no avail. Leaning your head against the cold damp window, you let sleep overcome you.

The bus came to a stop and your eyes snapped open to the sound of the driver calling for you. You groaned and rose to your feet, lifting the box of your belongings into your arms. Walking down the aisle, you stopped at the door and thanked the driver before stepping off. 

You were immediately floored by what lied in front of you. You laid your eyes upon a monastery that loomed over you. It had a very gothic look and a dark presence. You were unsure of how to feel. You weren’t ever one for religion, let alone religious help or healing. But, you had to take any and all help you can get.

You approached the large doors and stood there hesitantly before pushing against them, hearing them groan and squeak in protest. You stepped inside and let the doors shut behind you and the smell of incense and burning candles immediately attacked your nose.

The walls were marble and so were the floors, paintings adorned the ceiling, and decorated light fixtures illuminated the hallways. You looked around for any sign of life, yet there was none. You had no idea what to do. Until you heard the echo of footsteps against the hard floor approach.

You stood there, like a deer in the headlights as a man rounded the corner and stood dead ahead. He wore dark vestments and a mitre sat upon his head. His most prominent feature was the contrasting black and white skull-like paint that covered his face. Two mismatched eyes bore right into you as he stared, his gloved hands clasped together.

“Hello there.” He spoke in a thick Italian accent.

“H-hello..” You said weakly, feeling yourself tremble a little. You quickly dug a hand into your pocket and held out the note written for you. 

The man tilted his head slightly before approaching you and taking the note from your hand. He studied it with great interest before looking back up at you. His eyes were mesmerizing. “You’re acquainted with the woman who wrote this note?”

You nodded, your eyes never leaving his. “I.. I need help.”

He put a hand on his chin, thinking. “Hmm. She always had an eye for those in need. Thankfully for you, we aim to help and I just so happen to owe her a favor.”

You did nothing but kept staring. 

The man in front of you waved his hand as if dismissing something. “Do not be afraid, child. I welcome you with open arms. Tell me what you need.” He gave you a warm smile.

“I- uh- need somewhere to stay. I need support.” You felt tears come to your tired eyes as you recalled what happened, “I was expelled from my treatment. I need somewhere to belong.”

“Don’t fret. You’ve come to the right place. Forget about all of your problems for now and let’s find you somewhere to rest.” He made a beckoning motion with his hand for you to follow.

He led you down the marble hallways, past dozens of doors and hallways. He then cleared the silence, “I almost forgot to introduce myself- I’m Papa Emeritus the third. Forgive me for not saying so sooner. May I ask the name of my mystery guest?”

You cleared your throat before introducing yourself. “I’m (y/n), can I, uh, ask what this place is?”

“Great question! This is a place of worship. But not just any worship, we celebrate the word of Satan.”

His words surprised you, you would’ve never guessed that you would end up in a satanic church after being kicked from rehab. “The word of Satan? So.. Satanism?” You questioned.

“Yes, more or less.” He stated, keeping ahead of you down the hallway.

Eventually, you two came to a door that he knocked on before opening it. “Empty.” He then wandered into the dark room, turning on a lamp that filled the room with a soft light. Papa Emeritus beckoned you inside.

You hesitantly followed him in and set your box of items on the floor. It was bewildering how you, a junkie thrown out onto the streets, showed up unannounced at a satanic church and was immediately offered a place of refuge with no question. There had to be some sort of twist to it, right?

“Um... Thank you.” You bowed your head slightly to Papa. “I genuinely appreciate your generosity. I would’ve died out there. I’m just some random stranger from the streets and you’re here giving me a place to sleep. Do I owe anything at all?”

“Only your soul.”

You were floored. He was quiet for a moment before waving his hand and chuckling. “I’m only kidding. Get some rest and we can discuss matters tomorrow. I’ll send someone for you. Goodnight.”

Papa turned on his heels and out the door, shutting it behind him. You were then left to yourself and your thoughts. You looked around the room, studying its features. Noticing that there was no bathroom, you frowned. This was probably only temporary anyway. There was a small writing desk with a lamp, an empty bookshelf, a window covered by dark curtains, a mirror, a bed with crisp red sheets, and a nightstand. 

After taking in your surroundings, you dug through your belongings and changed into clothes that weren’t soaked from the rain. You crouched and reached into the pocket of a pair of pants that were folded neatly in the box and removed its contents. Holding it up in front of you, you studied the small plastic bag filled with a white substance. You turned it around in your hand, studying it. You then shook your head and threw it back into the box.

Standing back up, you turned and made your way to the bed. You ran your hand across the smooth clean sheets and sighed. It already felt so much better than a bed that was bolted to the floor. Pulling back the covers, you crawled under them and rested your tired head on the soft pillows. You leaned over and turned off the lamp and stared at the ceiling before drifting off into a deep slumber.


	2. 2 | Early Morning Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make a friend and more over breakfast, which is cut short by your withdrawals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey theres those cool friends i was talking about
> 
> also you meet the man himself

Your peaceful sleep was interrupted by a knocking at the door. You slowly opened your eyes, rubbing the fatigue away from them. Light filtered through the curtains and you heard the faint noise of birds chirping. You had almost forgotten where you are. There came more knocks at the door and you groaned as you pulled yourself out of the comfortable bed.

Eventually, you made it to the door and reached for the knob to open it. But before you could, it opened. A shorter girl with brown hair with blonde highlights stared back at you. She had icy blue eyes and freckles dotted her cheeks. 

“Oh- good morning!” She smiled at you, “May I come in?”

You stared back for a moment before nodding and moving out of the way. She immediately walked through the doorway and past you, turning back to face you. “I’m sorry for showing up unannounced, but I was sent to wake you up and take you to breakfast.”

Your stomach rumbled at the mention of breakfast. You never noticed just how hungry you were. She laughed at this and continued, “I’m Sister Alexis, but you can call me Lexi! And you are….” She paused for a moment, holding her finger up so you couldn’t tell her your name. “(Y/n)! Sorry, I had to think for a moment.”

“It looks like you just woke up. I can step out for a moment so you can get yourself dressed. Take your time, breakfast doesn’t start for another fifteen minutes but I thought I’d get you early so we get there first.” She beamed at you before walking out the door.

Immediately you started to dig through your box of stuff, trying to figure out what you should wear. The Sister they sent for you wasn’t wearing any sort of uniform- at least you assumed so. You opted for a plain black shirt and acid-washed jeans. You slipped on a pair of white sneakers and cracked the door open, clearing your throat.

“Great! Let’s go!” Lexi grabbed your hand and pulled you outside the door and down the hallways. “It’s always exciting to have a new face around here, it gets really boring talking to the same people. Especially when it’s someone mysterious who showed up overnight in a rainstorm!”

Your appearance was kind of mysterious once you thought about it. “Well, I hope I hope I don’t end up boring you,” You rasped, immediately conscious about the fact you needed water. 

She laughed. “I hope so too! We’re almost there, and we’re still early.” 

You trailed behind her, your hand still in hers. Your journey was cut short when someone stepped out of a door in front of you two, nearly hitting Lexi in the face.

“Oh! I’m so sorry Sister, I had no idea you were coming this way!” You heard a man with an Italian accent, much like Papa’s. He stepped out further and looked to Alexis and then you. He had the same two mismatched eyes as Papa Emeritus as well as the dark circles around them. A mustache sat above his top lip and he had his dark hair pushed back. He wore a black cassock and a glittering crucifix hung from the middle of his chest. 

“Goodmorning, you’re a new face. I didn’t receive any word of new members, who may you be?” He clasped his gloved hands together, his eyes boring into yours. His stare was intense and something about it gave you a strange feeling.

You opened your mouth to speak but you were cut off by Lexi, “Goodmorning to you too Cardinal! This is (y/n)! According to Papa, he washed up here in the dead of night. I think it’s pretty mysterious.”

“Hmm, very mysterious indeed.” He extended his hand out to you and you took it in the one that Lexi wasn’t holding onto and shook it. “I’m Cardinal Copia. I assume you two are heading to breakfast, I’ll leave you to that.” He bowed his head before turning and walking the opposite way you two were going.

“That’s the Cardinal, it’s rare that you ever see him since he’s always holed up in his office working on something,” Alexis informed you, leading you back down the hallway.

Eventually, you two reached a pair of open doors leading to what you assumed was a dining hall. Upon entering, the smell of food hit you and you felt yourself salivate. It’s been so long since you’ve had something besides hospital food. There were already a few people congregating around the hall, talking about one thing or another. 

You noticed you had stopped to gawk at everything around you from the high ceilings, to the paintings of people on the wall with similar paint to Papa’s, and the people around you. You looked to Lexi to find her staring at you.

“Come on! I don’t know about you but I’m starving!” She immediately made a beeline for the kitchen area. 

You followed her closely behind, copying Lexi’s actions and grabbing a plate after her. You watched her pick things out and put it on her plate, only for her to stop, look through the window to the kitchen and shout. “Hey! Lucy!”

A person with very short brown hair turned around to look at the source of the noise to which they found was Alexis. They looked very disgruntled and waved at her.

Lexi started to poke fun at them for being on kitchen duty and then mentioned something about waiting for them at the table. She turned to you and told you how the two of them were friends and they usually sat together. You nodded to let her know you were listening as you piled things on your plate. 

She stopped and waited for you to finish and then guided you to a table that was already occupied by two other people. Lexi sat down across from them and motioned for you to sit next to her. As you did, the two others stared at you and you gave a very nervous smile.

“So, everyone, I’d like to introduce (y/n). He came here overnight and I was assigned to show him around! Everyone say hello!” Lexi outstretched her arms out like she was showing something off. 

The two people in front of you, a dude with curly dark hair and a full face, and a girl with medium length dark hair both said hello. Lexi then introduced both of them to you. The guy was named Zach and the girl next to him was Gina. 

The rest of the breakfast consisted of you staying totally silent, too absorbed in eating your food. The two in front of you were constantly screaming about something or hitting each other while Lexi begged them to cut it out. Eventually, the person who Lexi had called out to in the kitchen came over and sat next to Gina and also begged the two to stop before joining in on their roughhousing.

Alexis turned to you and laughed, “I’m sorry about them, they’re always like this.”

You laughed back, “It’s totally fine. I wish I had friends like that.”

“It gets really overwhelming fast, but I understand where you’re coming from. Maybe if you’re here long enough you just might make some.” She winked at you before turning her attention back to the three of them who were arguing about something not meant for the table.

You looked back at your plate and a wave of nausea overtook you. You felt like you could vomit right there. Something about you obviously looked off as Lexi turned back to you and put a hand on your shoulder.

“Are you okay (y/n)?” She asked you with sincerity.

“No. I think I’m gonna throw up.” You rasped.

Lexi immediately stood up and grabbed a hold of your elbow, “Hey guys-” She turned to the three others in front of you two, “I’m gonna take (y/n) to the bathroom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's my story and ill cut the chapters where i want to and nobody can tell me otherwise

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for making it this far, you're a trooper LMAO I'm not the best writer ever but I'm trying
> 
> NO COPIA YET but he'll pop up next chapter
> 
> also im aware i use 'You' a lot but im literally a monkey with a typewriter


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